


When I'm Gone

by neko-nya (rainier_day)



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 11:13:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14893547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainier_day/pseuds/neko-nya
Summary: Aomine gives Kise a challenge.





	When I'm Gone

**Author's Note:**

> The last half finished KNB oneshot I found in my poorly named folders
> 
> Blame [inkandwords](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkandwords/pseuds/inkandwords) for this

_Kise,_

_\--_

“Aominecchi, how are you feeling today?”

A shove. “So annoying. Stop asking me that every day. I’m fine—the same as yesterday. I don’t know what kind of answer you’re expecting.”

He watches the other boy rest his elbow on the window sill to look out from his chair. The sight makes his heart hurt. It’s a beautiful day out and here they are, inside this sterile room looking out the window rather than outside on the court and enjoying the sun.

Aomine scowls. “Stop it. If you want to play outside, call Tetsu and Bakagami or something.”

Startled out of his stupor, Kise immediately shakes his head. “No! I want to be with you!”

“But you’re _boring_ ,” Aomine complains. “Pass me your notebook.”

Brows furrowed, he digs through his bag for his notebooks. “Which one do you want? Math? Literature? English?”

“Hmm, give me your literature one. I know you never take notes in that class.”

Obediently, Kise hands over his notebook only to let out a yelp when Aomine tears a page out from the back. “What are you doing, Aominecchi!?”

Crumbling the paper up into a ball in his hands, Aomine hones in on the recycling bin at the other end of the room and throws. The paper ball arches up nearly and lands squarely in the bin. Turning back, he shrugs. “Like I said: you’re boring. I have to make my own fun.”

Kise looks down in thought for a moment before pulling out his English notebook and ripping a page out. Crumbling it up, he stretches out and tosses the ball into the bin and grins. “Anything you can do, I can too.”

“Oh?” Aomine grins. “Was that a challenge, Kise?”

The two of them fill the bin until a nurse comes in and scolds them for wasting so much paper.

Glancing down at his phone, Kise gets up and slips his notebooks back into his bag. “Sorry, looks like visiting hours are over. I’ll be back tomorrow so make sure you wait for me, okay, Aominecchi?”

“Sure, whatever.” Aomine rolls his eyes, but as always, he leans forward when he closes in for a goodbye kiss.

\--

_When I’m gone…_

\--

“Aominecchi, how are you feeling today?”

A groan. “Same as always. Bored. Stop asking.”

Kise smiles. “I can’t help it. It’s just a habit now. Have you just been lounging around in bed all day?”

“Yeah, I managed to skip out on some lame reading activity and decided to nap instead,” Aomine tells him with a grin.

Shaking his head, he chides, “How are you skipping out on things even here? And you always get away with it too. It’s not fair.”

Aomine shrugs. “Must be my natural charm. Bet you wish you had some of this, huh?”

“Of course. Oh, if only I had some of your charm,” he mutters drily, rolling his eyes. “I toss and turn around at night wondering how I can possibly copy you.” He can’t help but break into a grin when Aomine starts laughing. Giving the other boy’s arm a light push, he says, “Move over a little.”

The bed creaks under the weight of an additional teenage boy, but it’s not the first time they’ve done this. Half sprawled on one another with limbs and fingers tangled, Aomine sighs, “This would be easier if you were nice and petit.”

“Hey, I’m plenty nice. You’re the one who’s too big,” Kise retorts. Then, glancing over at the nightstand, he notices a piece of paper. It’s horribly crumpled—probably one of their paper balls from yesterday—and clumsily flattened, but what catches his eyes is the messy scrawl on it. “Were you writing something, Aominecchi?”

Following his gaze, Aomine nods. “Sort of. It was just something I was thinking of earlier.”

“You were thinking? That’s rare,” he teases, stifling a squeal when there’s suddenly a pinch to his side. Laughing, he gives Aomine’s hand a tight squeeze. “What were you thinking about? Tell me.”

“A challenge.”

Kise blinks. “A challenge? Who are you challenging?”

Glancing down, Aomine says, “You.”

“Me? What kind of challenge is it?” he asks. “Will it be fun?”

“No, I think it’ll be very difficult,” Aomine tells him quietly, his tone thoughtful.

He does his best to swallow his discomfort. “Yeah? What is it?”

Aomine hesitates for a moment before reaching over with his free hand to grab the piece of paper. “It’s for when I’m gone.”

They both know it’s coming.

 _He_ knows it’s coming.

But even so, his eyes widen. “Wait, what?”

“Want an example? They’re just things like ‘don’t cry’.” Almost immediately, tears spill down his cheeks. Aomine puts the page down and laughs ruefully, wiping the tears away. “Look at you! That was an instant disqualification, Kise.” More gently, he sighs and brushes the bangs out of his face to look him in the eye. “It was my bad, okay? Let’s just forget about this.”

Kise shakes his head. “No,” he sniffles loudly, “I’ll do it, Aominecchi. I promise I’ll do your challenge, so finish writing the list. I’m just not ready to hear about it right now.”

“Alright, got it. We’ll do something nicer today,” Aomine murmurs, placing a kiss on his forehead. “You’re such baby sometimes, Kise.”

“That’s not very nice, Aominecchi,” he protests quietly.

“Fine, fine, I’ll be super nice then.” Aomine chuckles and holds him tight, peppering him with kisses.

Laughing through the tears, Kise squirms and tries to duck away. “No, stop! That tickles!”

Aomine grins. “But isn’t it nice?”

He doesn’t remember falling asleep but they’re both awaken when a nurse comes in to tell them that visiting hours have long since ended. Jumping out of bed, Kise quickly apologizes and straightens his sleep-tousled hair and clothes. “Geez, you got me in trouble again, Aominecchi.”

From the bed, Aomine sits up with a chuckle. “You’re the one who fell asleep first, idiot.”

“It’s your fault.  I pick up all my worst habits from you,” Kise mutters, picking up his bag and walking back over to the side of the bed. He spares a brief glance over to the piece of paper on nightstand; the topic averted but not forgotten.

Wrapping his arms around his waist, Aomine leans forward and rests his chin on his chest, looking up. “Of course. Please accept my humblest apology, Kise-sama.”

Kise lets out a scoff and pretends to think it over before finally conceding, “I suppose I can forgive you.”

Aomine grins. “That was easy. Must be my natural charm, huh?”

Snickering, he returns the hug. “Must be. I should go before that nurse comes back.” Leaning down for a quick kiss, he murmurs, “I’ll be back tomorrow so make sure you wait for me, okay, Aominecchi?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be here.”

\--

 _Do **not**_ _be scared._

\--

He’s at work when it happens.

In fact, he doesn’t know about it until Kuroko and Kagami visit him after his photo shoot with pale faces and reddened eyes.

His heart drops and his throat tightens.

Before they can say anything, Kise shakes his head and back pedals until he hits the wall. Sliding to the ground, he buries his face in his hands and chants “no” over and over again. He screws his eyes shut, feeling the tears spill over down his fingers, but still he doesn’t open them, hoping the two will disappear and he’ll wake up back in his own bed because this can’t be happening.

This can’t be happening.

“No, please, this can’t be happening…”

Kuroko crouches down in front of him and places a gentle hand on his knee. “Kise-kun, I’m sorry,” he says softly. “It was so sudden—we tried to call you but your phone was off.”

Amber eyes widen and he lifts his head. “What? I…but…”

Fishing his phone out of his pocket, he can see that it’d run out of batteries. He remembers then that he meant to charge the device after getting to work but got swept up in the shoot and the promise of visiting Aomine afterwards.

But none of that matters now.

Suddenly, it feels like his entire world is crumbling beneath his feet. Numbness spreading, he slowly turns to his friends with tears running down his cheeks and asks, “Kurokocchi, what do I do? I didn’t even say goodbye. I didn’t tell him how much I love him or how much he means to me…” He chokes down a sob and clutches at Kuroko’s sleeve. “Kurokocchi, what do I do now?”

Unable to do much else, Kuroko and Kagami envelope him in a gentle hug.

Then it hits him.

Aomine’s gone.

Aomine’s gone and he never even got to say goodbye.

\--

_Do **not** cry (too much)._

\--

Kise is a little proud of himself for managing to stave off most of the waterworks until he makes it home, escorted by his friends. There’s a little nagging voice inside his head that tells him to stop, that it’s pointless to feel so much when they both knew that this day would come.

Rubbing his reddened eyes dry, he frowns to himself in the mirror.

“Come on Ryouta, get a hold of yourself,” he tells himself. “You can tough this one out. Stop crying already. You promised Ao…” The name gets caught in his throat. “You told Aominecchi you would do the challenge.”

Even as the words leave his mouth, he can feel fresh tears stinging his already swollen eyes. Without bothering to change out of his uniform, he curls up in bed and throws the covers over his head.

“Sorry, Aominecchi,” he mutters. “I’ll stop crying tomorrow.”

He cries himself to sleep that night.

And the next night.

And the night after that.

\--

_Do **not** slack off to sulk._

\--

He’s listless for weeks after the funeral, skipping out on practice and work. Today, he’s sitting at an empty park with Momoi, not wanting to go home just yet. “You skipped work today, Ki-chan?”

Kise nods. “I couldn’t do it.”

Momoi looks over, nothing but sympathy in her eyes. He’s not the only one who lost someone important that day. “Hey, why don’t we pay him a visit?” she suggests quietly. “I bet Dai-chan would like that.”

Sullenly, Kise shakes his head. “Not yet. I’m not doing very well on this challenge.” He lets out a teary laugh and quickly scrubs his eyes dry with a sleeve. “I can’t even do the first thing on the list. If Aominecchi could see me now, he’d probably laugh.”

Reaching out, she pulls him into a tight hug, her own voice breaking. “Maybe. But, Ki-chan, he’d probably also know better than anyone how hard you’re trying.”

Lowering his head, he stops trying to hold back the tears. “I miss him, Momocchi.”

“I know, Ki-chan. I miss him too.”

\--

_Do **not** cling to people._

\--

Despite finally dragging himself to practice, upon entering the court, all he could do was sit on the bench and watch and remember. Without thinking, he throws his arms around Kasamatsu when the older boy comes to check on him. Instead of struggling and scolding him, the captain rubs his back and asks gently, “Kise, are you alright?”

Unable to get the words out, he shakes his head.

“Okay. That’s okay,” the older boy reassures him. “You take your time. Just know that we’re all here for you. You’re our very important ace, remember?”

Kise sniffles and Kasamatsu doesn’t complain about the tears soaking through his shirt. “Aominecchi gave me that.”

At this, the captain forces his head up. “No. None of that. He got you started but you got to this point on your own. You earned the title of ‘Kaijou’s Ace’, okay? I’m here for you all the way, but I won’t put up with you belittling yourself and I know Aomine wouldn’t want that either.”

Burying his face back into the other boy’s shirt, he nods. “I understand.”

“That’s a good boy.” Placing a hand on his head, Kasamatsu runs a hand through his hair soothingly. “I know this is hard but you’re going to be alright, Kise. Not right now and maybe not for a long time. But you _will_ be alright.”

He wonders about that.

\--

_Do **not** cling onto me._

\--

That night, sitting in bed, he clutches tightly at the folded, crumpled piece of paper and stares at the words. He's committed the list to memory, but that doesn't make the tasks any easier.

Tears blur his vision.

“I'm sorry. I can't do it, Aominecchi.”

Choking back a sob, he reaches up to dry his eyes too late. Tears hit the page with a splash and he quickly uses his shirt to blot it.

Soaked through the worn page, Kise furrows his brow at the sight of new words.

Unfolding and turning the page over, his eyes widen.

\--

_Kise,_

_That first challenge isn't doable, is it? Well, it's doable, but I'd rather you not._

_It's okay to be scared._

_(I am too.)_

_It's okay to cry._

_(You're going to cry no matter what I say.)_

_It's okay to take it easy._

_(Only for a little while.)_

_It's okay to cling to others._

_(They're there to support you.)_

_And it's okay to remember me._

_(I want you to.)_

_They emptied the bin so this is the only piece of paper I have left. I'll get Tetsu to give this to you later or something, but here's a better challenge I came up with._

\--

Warm rays of light.

Gentle fingers run through his hair.

The pages of a magazine being flipped.

Without opening his eyes, he leans in to the touch.

He knows this touch.

He knows who it belongs to.

When his eyes flutter open at the sound of his alarm, he’s alone again.

\--

_Smile._

He doesn't expect to find Takao and Midorima by the gates after another uneventful day of practice. Blinking, Kise asks, "Why are you two here? ...is that a body pillow?"

"I was talking to Kasamatsu-san earlier and he mentioned that you're still sitting out during practice," Takao explains with an easy smile. "When I mentioned this to Shin-chan, he got worried and insisted we come see you!"

Quickly pushing his glasses up, Midorima scowls. "That's not true. Stop making things up, Takao."

Laughing, Takao reaches over to give the other boy a reassuring pat on the back. "There's no need to be shy, Shin-chan. Everyone already know just how tsundere you are."

Watching their interaction, Kise can't help but feel a twinge of envy. Doing his best to push past it, he asks, "So what's with the pillow? I'm guessing it's your lucky item? It's pretty big, was your luck that bad?"

Midorima shakes his head. "No, it's yours. Geminis ranked third to last on today's forecast."

"We even got special permission to skip practice to get this," Takao says, eager to chime in. "We went to this department store but Shin-chan kept insisting they weren't big enough so we ended up going into a specialty store!"

Kise arches a brow. "A specialty store?"

"Takao, that's enough," Midorima mutters, averting his gaze. "It's not like we went out of our way to get this for you."

"But you went to a _specialty_ story," Kise replies.

Pushing his glasses up again, Midorima shakes his head. "Whatever. Just take it."

"Alright, thank you. Midorimacchi, did you really walk all the way here holding this?"

"Yes, what about it? It didn't fit in a bag."

It's only when he's being handed the pillow that he sees the scantily clad anime girl splayed out and winking at him. Unable to contain himself, he bursts into laughter.

_(I like your smiling face best.)_

\--

_Be brave._

“Hey, how’ve you been?”

Kise looks up from his phone and manages a smile. “Kagamicchi. I’ve been doing better. I even participated in practice yesterday.”

The other boy reaches down and ruffles his hair before taking a seat next to him on the bench. “That’s good. Keep up the good work, Kise. You said you had something to ask me?”

He nods, swallowing hard. The words get caught in his throat, but he forces them out. “I wanted to ask you about Aominecchi.”

Kagami’s eyes widen but then calmly, he asks, “Are you sure?”

Dipping his head, he can already feel the tears prickling at his eyes. He remembers clamping his hands over his ears that day and refusing to listen. Everything hurt too much then. “I’m sure. I’m definitely going to cry, but I’ll be okay. I want to know what Aominecchi said.”

Gaze lowering, Kagami takes a deep breath. “‘Sorry I couldn’t wait.’ That’s what he asked me to tell you.”

The tears spill over.

“…thanks, Kagamicchi.”

_(It’s going to be hard and it’s going to be scary but I know you’ll do your best.)_

\--

_Be happy._

Crouching down, Kise sets the bouquet of flowers down and smiles. “Aominecchi, I don’t have much time to chat, but I thought I’d come see you. I’ve got photoshoot and then I’m having a two-on-two with some of the guys later.”

The sun is shining and there’s a gentle spring breeze blowing through the cemetery.

“The entrance exams are over now,” he continues conversationally, “so all there’s left to do is wait for the results. I’m pretty confident I’ll get in. I mean, I’m no Midorimacchi or Akashicchi, but I’m also not trying to get into med school. If you were here, you probably would’ve been scouted by some team already.”

In the distance, he can hear birds chirping and a man sweeping the leaves and dirt off the grave of someone dearly departed.

“You know, this world’s an awfully lonely place without you in it,” Kise confesses quietly. “But I’m doing my best. I’m meeting your challenge, Aominecchi. Or, I’m trying to.”

There’s a buzz in his pocket, reminding him of his upcoming appointment.

Getting up, he brushes the dust off his clothes and smiles. “I’ll be okay. I’ll be happy. And I’ll come find you when this is over so make sure you wait for me, okay, Aominecchi?”

_(I always thought this would be my job, but it looks like you’ll have to do my share of the work. Make yourself the happiest person in the world, Kise. I won’t settle for anything less.)_

 

_So, how’s that?_

_It’s a pretty good challenge, isn’t it?_

_I don’t know what’s going to happen from here on out, but I know you’ll definitely beat this challenge. I know you’ll pick yourself up. I know you’ll be strong. And maybe it won’t be right away, but I know you’ll be alright._

_After all, you’re the person I chose to be with._

_Kise Ryouta, I love you._

 

_Aomine Daiki_


End file.
